This was performed with my old space rock band, Food, around 1987, and a couple of years later rehearsed with my abortive prog rock 'band', which might have been called Pollen.
Folks from those days will notice that Puck has had a sex change. We're all getting used to that sort of thing round here. I will ensure that the authorities use the correct pronouns as they pull her limp limbs out of bed.
Explanatory note: "Lenor" and "Comfort" are fabric softener brands from the UK.
With a title like that, you'll be wanting to know the moral of the story. Is there a moral?
Why yes. Yes there is. It's: "Always Read the Label"
Once there was a lovely girl whose name was plastic Puck
Whose laundry always came out feeling stiff, and harsh and rough.
She tried Lenor and Comfort, but it didn't seem to help.
So she went to Mr Æsop's shop to see what he had to sell.
"I have the very thing you need!", said Æsop with a smile.
"I'll fetch it from the basement now, I'll be a little while..."
He came back with a bottle. "A concotion of my own"
So Puck, she paid a half a crown and took the bottle home.
The label said "It's magic!" and "Softens through and through!"
"But careful, only use three drops, no matter what you do!"
Puck, she washed her duvet, her pyjamas and a sheet.
With all the magic softener. The whole lot poured in neat.
She hung them on the washing line, and put them on her bed.
And now poor Puck was tired, so she went to rest her head.
The moment that she stretched out flat, she couldn't feel a thing.
Her mind it drifted from our world, with joy her heart did sing:
"It feels like I'm in heaven" thought Puck quite casually.
"It feels like I'm not anywhere, and all I am is me"
And so she went on lying, in her softened daze like this.
And lay in bed forever in a state of utter bliss...
released February 22, 2016
Written and arranged by Brennan Young
Image based on a photo by Jorge Díaz from Santiago de Chile, Chile (Wikimedia/flickr - Creative Commons license).
all rights reserved